I have been fidgeting in my mind with how to write this post for the past 4 weeks. This is the fifth attempt, and at this point I’m just going to go with it. The fidgeting and skepticism is no doubt a mirror of the uncertainty I am facing in my life. So here it goes, stream of consciousness:
This soul knows it needs to run. Plain and Simple. This is the single phrase I have found in the world that can best define me and my personality. To run means so many things, and to me it means life. Outside of family, it has been the only constant in my life. I have an absolute passion and desire for it, it drives the major decisions in my life. It simply is who I am. It represents my unquenchable thirst for forward progress and great achievement. It has shaped me into the man I am becoming. It has instilled in me my morals, values, belief in myself, and ultimately my life’s work.
Running also helped to lead me to my most recent major life decision. I quit my job as of 2 weeks ago. I hated it and “hated my place in the world” to quote Jerry Maguire. So I made the brash decision to quit without knowing what the future would hold. The job was the epitome of all that I hate and the exact opposite of what I wanted to do with my life. I dreaded going into work everyday and could feel myself slipping into a depression from it. Then the answer came to me on a December evening in the form of a YouTube video.
The video was Salomon Running Season 2011, featuring a song called “Who Needs a Road” by a South African group named Signpost Sound. This song immediately became my favorite running song. It is also the roots of my phrase: “this soul knows it needs to run”. When I first heard the song I misheard “this soul knows who needs a road?” for “this soul knows it needs to run”. A motto was born. A motto that has given my life purpose, passion, and focus.
After hearing these hauntingly beautiful lyrics it inspired a life reevaluation. I was living in my dream location and was miserable for at least 10 hours a day. A change was in order. My job was quite simply bullshit to put it bluntly. I was being paid to do nothing and felt completely worthless. Another great line from the song is: “I’m not here to hide, I’m here to grow”. Working at this job was stagnant, required zero brain function, and was not making a positive impact on the world. My life will not be defined by simply getting a paycheck and paying bills. It’s uninspired, unimaginative, and in my opinion a horrible way to go about living a life. Call it youthful arrogance or unrealistic enthusiasm, or whatever else you like, but it’s who I am. My career will serve to make the world a far better place and reflect my passions, of that I can be sure.
I have always paved my own way and will continue to do so. The future is extremely uncertain at this point as I don’t know where I will be living or working 40 days from now due to a multitude of choices and decisions that must be made. I am at a crossroads that will most likely decide much of the rest of my life. I have faith everything will work out the way it is supposed to. As my father puts it: I’m like a cat, “throw me up in the air and somehow, someway I land on my feet.” I will make a way, with running to guide every step.
This Soul Knows It Needs To Run.
Always in Stride,